Update December 2019:
I’ve just re-read this post for pretty much the first time since writing it and I don’t recognise myself. When I wrote this I was in a really good place, or so I thought, but, 10 months later I realise how lost I really was. It feels like reading the words of someone who had been lost for a fair old while.
I had an social event with some people from my past recently and it was such a weird thing, like all of a sudden I felt small, confused and uncomfortable in my own skin. I see now it’s because I’ve changed and I didn’t know how to be. Despite seeing these people every day for years, I realised they didn’t know my actual self. Isn’t it funny how the smallest things over a long period of time can really change a character!?
Here’s to 2020 with more healing and remembering who I actually am 🙂
First post of 2019 and it’s a bloody big one guys…
So, after 10 years I finally made what’s possibly the biggest, most scary (yet most exhilarating) decision I’ve ever made… I gave notice at my full time, well paid job in the leisure industry. Why? Long story short… It never actually was my dream job.
My career in a nutshell –
I’ve been working at the same place for the last 10 years. After a brief stint at my first job out of university I went to work in a HR temp role for a year before moving over into a Marketing admin role. Then, back in 2011 the company was bought out and my manager went with the original owners.
The rest, as they say is history. I pushed, and pushed, and pushed myself to the top. I moved from Marketing Co-Ordinator for 3 locations to Marketing Manager for 8 locations (holiday homes and lodges to own) then in 2015 basically moved into a Head of Marketing role for the group’s 24 locations covering ownership, digital and secondary spend marketing, branding and holiday support.
I can honestly say it’s been THE most amazing experience and I’ve loved so, so much about it, but, when all was said and done, it just wasn’t me and at no point along this journey did I ever stop and think, “Do I actually really want this?!”
I’m not great at opening up, I’d say there are few that know the ‘real me’ and I’ve not really touched on it before apart from briefly in my 2017 Interiors Highlights post. I guess I’d just summarise it by saying that i’m not naturally confident, anxiety can get the better of me, and never in my wildest dreams did I (or lets face it, anyone around me) ever think I’d end up in a role like the one I’m coming from. You might think thats harsh, but it’s true.
How did I end up in such an amazing position by 34?
(I’ve gone back and too about whether or not to include this next paragraph. Why is it so hard to talk about why we are proud of ourselves?! Why am I so scared that people will think I think a lot of myself?! Why isn’t it ok to just say some of the good things you’ve done?! )
I guess it turns out that I under valued myself and what I could do, so here it is – My name is Sam and I can actually do a lot more than I give myself credit for. It turns out I’m very good at what I do, I am a natural leader and apparently a good Manager (although I suspect this is mostly due to having THE MOST INCREDIBLE TEAM who have made my decision to leave so hard). I’m stupidly motivated and like a dog with a damn bone when I get an idea in my head. I’m prepared to work my damn butt off, take on scary people (those with power and those who just think they do) and commit to bloody big ideas AND make them happen! I’m enthusiastic, passionate, and I make shit happen! ARGH!
Why leave, why now?
I really want this post to be about me, me following my head and heart, my journey and my next chapter after ten years. However, it wouldn’t be fair not to mention some other elements and other realities that come with working in senior management such as long hours, internal politics and chronic stress.
I don’t know, maybe there are further blog posts in this, especially to address stress, so I might just leave it here for now. All I will say is that these are very real and should be taken seriously. Are we weak and failing by removing ourselves (because we can’t ‘hack it’) from situations that effect our mental and physical health? No, the real failure comes from those who fail to acknowledge them. It’s a balance guys, hard work needs to be balanced with play. Being committed and always contactable needs to be balanced with respect for life beyond work and perspective is everything! I’m all for throwing yourself 100% in to everything you do but always stop and think about what and WHO it’s all for!
So yeah, it’s all very well giving up bloody good salaries and for all the right reasons but those bills don’t go away. Originally I had planned on looking for a new opportunity but, after hours and hours of talking and planning, I’ve decided I owe it to myself to give Burrow & Me a go. It’s been so helpful watching the lovely Lins @linsdrabwellhome live through a similar thing and share her experiences.
So, here’s to the next chapter, here’s to 2019, and here’s to following my heart. I’ll likely be working harder than ever but I’m so flipping excited!
Watch this space for a bigger and better shop, interiors services and a range of marketing packages, workshops and tutorials aimed at new business.
So thats that, i’m going to sign off with an Oscar speech and just thank my yummyfamily, friends and colleagues who quite honestly have been the most amazingly supportive and amazing people a gal could ask for. In the words of Kelly @kelly_thebeesknees I simply have the best ‘Home Team’.